A Little Catching Up

Wow, it's been a long time...sorry guys and girls.

So, a little update.

The Facebook experiment did not work out.  They deleted the last two profiles/accounts I created and I really don't know why, but it's clear that I'm not welcome there.  Whatever.

Karyn is no longer living with me.  She met, fell in love with, and moved in with a guy, so for now I'm living alone again.  I don't really mind living alone, but I did like living with Karyn.  We were never really girlfriends but we had very similar personalities, desires, and appetites.  We managed to satisfy each other when needed and to stay out of each others' way when we wanted something else.  We still talk and see each other regularly, but haven't been inside each other since she moved out.  Her boyfriend is nice and seems to please her without demanding too much, but she once again is trying to live monogamously to try to keep a guy from becoming jealous.  I understand the desire to do that because I have never met a guy who was willing to share me with other guys or girls, which is why I am still single.  I wish her luck, but her track record here is not great.  When she's tried this in the past she has strayed and the guy then, who I also know and still like very much, couldn't deal with that.

The holidays were great.  We don't do gift exchanges so much anymore in the family, but we do get together and for the last few years when I get together with my father that means we fuck.  I really like fucking him.  I like his cock inside me and his cum inside me.  Ryan, my brother, broke up with Kayla last year, for which I am sad, because I love them both and they were happy together, but they did have some issues, individually and as a couple, that they just couldn't find a way to work through.  The positive side of that is that while he was with Kayla, Ryan wasn't fucking me.  So now I get him back inside me again, too.  I haven't had an opportunity to get a dp out of dad and Ryan yet, but I'll get that done.

I'll try to write again soon, but no promises.

Facebook

Hmmm.  I just saw that I wrote the draft below in July, but never posted it.  So here it is.

So, I just found out that my Facebook page has been disabled, because they believe I have violated one or more of these aspects of their "policy".  As it turns out, they are right, because the last name I used on the facebook profile, like the one I use here, is not my real name (sorry to all of you who have been futilely googling Lisa Winslow for all of these years).

Anyway, if you were friends with me on my old profile and wondered where I went...that's the scoop.  If you want to "friend" me again, I have a new profile, for however long it lasts, at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006645617996&fref=ts

Daddy Issues

I'm lying in bed with a friend and he tells me that he knows what my problem is; I have daddy issues.

I didn't know that I have a problem.  I do know that I have daddy issues, as any of you who have been reading here for awhile also know, but that's not a problem with me.  Plus, as far I'm aware, this guy doesn't know about what I do with my daddy.  So I asked him what he meant by that.

My problem that is related to my daddy issues, he said, is that I fuck around a lot.  I wouldn't do that if I didn't have unresolved issues from my childhood, probably related to inattention or rejection from my father.

Ah!  That bullshit.  This is typically applied to strippers, hookers, and pornstars.  Also, apparently, to girls like me who fuck around.  This guy, who was lying next to me in bed having this conversation with me shortly after depositing a load of spluge in my pussy, after also having his cock drilling my mouth and ass, has, in the years I have known him, fucked at least six of my girlfriends.  He has also during that time told me about at least a couple of dozen other women he has fucked during that time.  So I asked him if, with that record, he has mommy issues

No, that's different (of course it is!).  Guys are expected to sleep around.  That's the norm.  It's also their biological drive, to plant their seed as far and wide as they can.  Women are supposed to be more selective; their biological drive is to nest and nurture.  It's unnatural for women to fuck around.

What if, I asked him, while growing up with my father I had an open and honest relationship with my father, in which we talked openly about sex and sexual relationships and, because of that, I modeled my behavior on his?  Under those circumstances, wouldn't my being a slutty slut be based on the exact opposite of what he described as my problem?

He said it wouldn't be normal for a girl to have that kind of relationship with her father.

I knew that there was no place left to go.  If he thought that kind of relationship between a girl and her father was unnatural, god knows what he'd think of my actual relationship with my father.

Bottom line, though, is that the guy is full of shit.

Dog News

I'm afraid I have some sad news...I learned a couple of days ago, that Moose, the Rottweiler that thrilled and scared me with his aggressive thrusting and huge canine cock, has died.  He was about 10 years old, apparently kind of old for that breed.  I have some awesome memories of that guy.

Daddy's Christmas Present

Giving it up on Christmas Eve.

Apologies and Best Wishes

It's been a weird few months.

I started getting really involved with some great people on Facebook, people from all over the world who made me feel warmly welcomed into their various communities.  It was really great.  There are aspects of my personality and my sexuality, that I've written about in depth here, which are not broadly accepted and which in the physical world I often have a hard time finding people who are accepting of them.  I found such people on facebook and it helped me feel not as...perverse.  This has been great.

While chatting with some of these people I often would "speak" of my relationships with people and I came to see that in a lot of these relationships, and in one in particular, I've been a self-centered douchebag.  I've been making an effort over the last few months to work on my current relationships and, with past relationships, try to atone for my actions with people who I have treated less than graciously.  This last part has led to mixed results, but I feel better for the effort and will keep working on this.

One problem I was having with this facebook world is that there were a lot of people who sincerely and warmly wanted to chat with me or exchange brief messages with me and, simply because of the volume I found it overwhelming.  I became incapable of sorting through it and prioritizing and my response was probably the worst possible...I just went dark, stopped logging in, and cut everybody off.  So, while working on being less of a doucebag in the physical world I turned into a giant douchebag on the internet.  I am really so very sorry to so many of you, and to Samantha Adams in particular.

Then there was my aunt, my father's younger sister.  As I was growing up she was the relative I was closest too. She was 15 years older than me and to me she was just the coolest person alive.  She was hot, funny, warm, and she always spoke to me in a way that indicated she liked and respected me.  As I got older we had less contact but my feelings for her only grew stronger. Then, earlier this year, we found out that she had advanced cancer and this fall I lost her.  I was more emotionally devastated than I have ever been.  It took me a couple of weeks to even begin to sort out how I would deal with her loss.  I'm not a religious person, so I don't pray.  There's an internal voice with whom I carry on a dialog about various things and for many years that voice was hers.  Now, suddenly, it was unmoored from a real living person.

Then, in the midst of this grieving, I was told, by a person who probably intended to hurt me and found the singularly most effective way to do so, that my late aunt had come to be disappointed in me; that she was offended and disgusted by my lifestyle.  Nothing my aunt had ever told or written to me had ever given me this sense and no physical artifact that she left behind, no letter or tape or anything, supported this.  But suddenly I had to confront the possibility that this was true, that the relationship I thought I had had with her and the impression of me that I thought she had were not only inaccurate but completely so.  So then I had to work through that, whether I believed that and, if I did, what should I do about that?  In the end I have come to believe, although I can no longer be 100% certain of this, that this other relative was just making this up.  On the path to this belief, though, I spent a lot of time thinking of my lifestyle and whether I should change my ways.

In the end, there are some of my more self destructive behaviors I probably should modify.  As much as I love collecting cum in my pussy and ass, and then sitting in it or having it run down my legs, I really need to practice more safe sex and make guys use condoms.  I don't intend to fuck any fewer people, though, and I still intend to be as public in my fucking as I can be.  I will try to be more cognizant of what other people actually want from their relationships with me and try not to just use them for my physical gratification if they are looking for something deeper.  This I think will be the hardest thing to adhere to.  I have just not cared to much about this in the past, figuring if people weren't getting what they needed from me emotionally they were free to leave.  Although this is true superficially, we all know that emotions are harder to deal with than that and we all allow ourselves to be trapped in relationships that are harmful for us.  I really want not to be the person who takes advantage of people who are emotionally drawn to me in ways that I cannot or will not reciprocate.

Anyway, I again apologize to those to whom my actions, intentionally or otherwise, have been hurtful.  And I wish for all of you a happy new year.

A Southern California Slut Adventure

This last weekend Karyn and I went down to the LA area for a gang bang that a friend of ours arranged for us.  Ke' met this guy about ten years ago at the Democratic National Convention and she and I have maintained a relationship with him since then.  He's a successful lawyer/agent who doesn't like getting involved in relationships with women so, he says, he limits himself to interacting with escorts (that's how he met Ke').  I've spent time with him in LA and Las Vegas and have found him to be smart, funny, fun, and having pretty much no limits sexually.  Two guys and a girl, two girls and a guy, any number of girls and guys, with dicks going in any available hole, that's all fine with him.  I've met and fucked a number of his friends over the years and found them to have similar appetites.  When some of them approached him about having a gang bang, his first thought was to bring me and Ke' down for it.  Ke' wasn't available, though, so I suggested Karyn, who was more than willing and a more than adequate substitute for Ke' in these matters.

We drove down on Thursday, reaching the hotel in Agoura Hills at about 7.  We showered and dressed, then went down to the lobby for a drink while the guests arrived.  When we went back up to the room there were six well dressed (from expensive casual attire to expensive suits) men waiting for us in the suite.  We mingled, introducing ourselves, flirting and doing some light fondling.  Then Karyn and I started to kiss and touch each other, cupping each others' breasts and grabbing asses.  Soon we both had other lips on our necks and ears and other hands touching us, reaching under our clothes, into our pussies and rectums and eventually removing our clothes.  We were separated as fingers were replaced by cocks and we both found ourselves being fucked by every combination of three cocks per girl that you could come up with (well, not quite...although we both ended up with two cocks in our pussies and one in our asses, neither of us got two in the ass with one in the pussy).  For the first time ever at a gang bang that I was part of, there was also man-on-man sex, with guys giving each other blow jobs and fucking each other.  This, I have to admit, raised the excitement level for me.

Normally at gang bangs I'm pretty strict about the use of condoms, at least in the early stages, but that was a ground rule that we failed to establish and soon there was cum dripping out of multiple male and female orifices.  Karyn and I are both huge fans of felching so we were doing our best to let no drop go uneaten, but one of the guys there also joined us, and he ended up snowballing the cum he sucked out of my ass (not his) into my mouth.  I don't think I have ever engaged in sex with so many people who were so enthusiastic and uninhibited about being as sexually depraved as the eight people in that room.  It was amazing.

After we were done (we'd planned to finish my midnight, but the last guy didn't leave until after 1:00), we drove to my friend's house in Malibu, where we showered and collapsed into bed.  When we woke after sleeping in on Friday, he told us he'd been getting texts all morning and wondered if we were up to doing it again.  Neither Karyn or I was too sore anywhere, so he went about arranging a place and a guest list.

We ended up at a somewhat seedier hotel down in Long Beach, and when we went down from the bar into the suite, this time there were seven guys, including three from the previous night.  The room and the beds were smaller, and a couple of time people actually fell off the beds as the night progressed.  We eventually shoved them together, which made the whole affair more intimate and allowed Karyn and I to touch and taste each other more than we'd had the chance to do the night before.  I don't think any trick went untried and after the party broke up, again after 1:00, we were exhausted, and grateful that we'd ridden down with our host and didn't have to handle that drive back to Malibu on our own.

When we drove home on Saturday we both were euphoric over the good time we'd had down there, as well as having a tidy sum of spending money in our purses.

I don't know when or where we'll be doing this again, but I can't wait.  The only thing I'd change is to find a bigger place to accommodate Ke' as well, with another three or four guys to keep her busy.

A Note For Those Who Want to Judge Me

Just a word who may disapprove of what I do and wish to express their views via comments here or on facebook:

Over the years I've been called a slut, cunt, whore, ho, bitch, pervert, n*gger-lover, and any number of other epithets for the activities I engage in and describe.  Here's the thing: you can't offend me by calling me those things.  You have effectively expressed that you disapprove of what I do, but frankly I don't care what you think.  I do those things because I enjoy doing them.  I embrace those terms because they to some extent describe who I am and who I like to be.  I like fucking men, women, and dogs.  I like having sex with black men (and hispanic men, and asians...).  I enjoy fucking my father and brother because they are hot, sexy, and sexual men; not because they are my father and brother.  If you don't like it that I do those things, or that I write, explicitly about it, don't come here.  Nobody finds this blog, or my facebook page, by accident.  I write these entries for those men and women who either share my interests or are curious about erotic possibilities that are out there for them.  If you disapprove, stay away.  This is my on-line home and the small community I've created for my on-line friends.  We don't go to your place and trash it; give us the same respect.

Thank you.