My Playthings

While surfing the internet, I came across the Rectal Foreign Bodies page. It's not as erotic as it may sound, discussing in a rather clinical way foreign bodies people have placed, and had stuck, in their rectums, requiring medical assistance to have them removed. There is mention that one of the reasons people put things in their butts is for sexual gratification. That's always been the case with me.

Long before I was putting objects up my ass, I was putting them up my cunt (today I just love the sound of that word. Some days I like pussy, some days I like vagina. Today I like cunt.) It was around the same time as mine and Derek's sexual experimentation that I started putting things up inside me. I guess I was trying on the one hand to duplicate the feeling of his cock inside me, but more than that I was just looking for anyway to get off. Clitoral stimulation aside, there is something arousing for me about having things inside me. Over the years, I think I've put everything inside me that I figured I could safely get away with. I started small, of course, with pencils, pens, make-up pencils. Moving out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, I tried toothbrushes (I've never told my brother this, but many times he brushed his teeth as a teenager with a brush that had been in my pussy, the bristles presumably soaking up my vaginal juices - excuse me, cunt juices. I think that was as close as I've come to incest.), toilet brush and plunger handles, razor blade handles, shampoo and conditioner bottles, pill bottles. Then came the kitchen and there are just so many things in there to play with. The handles of eating and serving utensils, the heads of spoons, candy thermometers, basters (when I got older I found other uses for basters), ice cream scoops. I once took a polaroid picture of a whish emerging from my cunt. Whether that just got lost or ended up in someone's personal collection, I don't know. If you ever go to a "strange insertions" page and see a grainy photo of a whisk in a pussy taken from the woman's viewpoint, in might be me. In the refrigerator I found lovely bottles to fuck. Beer bottles, soda bottles, wine bottles, even ketchup bottles. Moving to the vegetable drawer I found my greatest happiness. Bananas are a nice size, but they tend to soften too easily. Carrots are good, but a little rough. Ears of corn, though even rougher, I find pleasantly so. When I was younger and my pussy not quite so pliable, I shuddered at the thought of fucking myself with an ear of corn. I quite enjoy it now, though. My favorite veggie for fucking myself, though, is a cucumber. I think they are the most cock-like of veggies. Thick, smooth, and firm. I love me some cukes.

Toolboxes are great too, with various sizes of screwdrivers, pliers, chisels, and hammers. I was partial to a 10 pound sledgehammer my father had. I could put the hammer head on the garage floor and it was stable enough that I could lower myself on to the handle.

Eventually, even before I'd experience penetration by a cock into my rectum, I started trying all of these things up there, too. In no time, I was fucking myself with a cucumber up my ass and another in my cunt. I love to go out in public with things in my ass (my cunt, too, but it's easier to get them to stay in my ass). I have two erotic costumes, one of a cat, the other as a devil, that feature tails held in place by butt plugs (don't you want to cum to a costume party I'm at?). One thing I enjoy doing, inspired by this picture is entertain friends by entering the bedroom with a flashlight up my pussy or ass. It doesn't stay there for long, but both guys and girls are intrigued and excited by this. When sitting around the house, I like inserting ice cubes in my ass. Though cold at first, it's a neat feeling as I insert more and more and my ass feels like it's being filled by a gentle frozen cock.

Anyway, I just felt like sharing that with you.